'It's alright,' said the Penguin in exactly the sort of way that Penguins don't. 'This is the only book you'll ever need to find complete happiness.'
Because it's been a bit of a trying time, hasn't it? You now know that your eight-year-old is better at maths than you. And English. And at not crying during schoolwork. And the only way to get through it with a smile has been to buy all the booze, wear all the pyjamas and try and make the supermarket delivery person your new best friend, through the letterbox, without screaming at them.
But don't worry, here to paper over all the cracks in your pickled soul is a touching book, full of tender animal friends, lots of pretty pictures and not too many words. A book for our times - to remind us all of the precious joy that is having all the family together, non-stop, twenty-four hours a day.
Owning it will make you happy. Giving it to other people will make you seem kind. Reading it will remind you that you're nearly out of gin.
'It's alright,' said the Penguin in exactly the sort of way that Penguins don't. 'This is the only book you'll ever need to find complete happiness.'
Because it's been a bit of a trying time, hasn't it? You now know that your eight-year-old is better at maths than you. And English. And at not crying during schoolwork. And the only way to get through it with a smile has been to buy all the booze, wear all the pyjamas and try and make the supermarket delivery person your new best friend, through the letterbox, without screaming at them.
But don't worry, here to paper over all the cracks in your pickled soul is a touching book, full of tender animal friends, lots of pretty pictures and not too many words. A book for our times - to remind us all of the precious joy that is having all the family together, non-stop, twenty-four hours a day.
Owning it will make you happy. Giving it to other people will make you seem kind. Reading it will remind you that you're nearly out of gin.
A relatable, funny and affectionate parody of the million-copy bestseller, The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse - for our times and for parents everywhere
As a ghost writer, GUY ADAMS has kicked heroin, robbed a casino,
worked as a prison doctor. When feeling more himself, he is the
author of The Clown Service novels, the Heavens Gate trilogy and
writes comics for various publishers including 2000AD. He lives in
Eastbourne with fellow author and live-in genius AK Benedict and
their daughters (one hairy and canine, the other human).
A proud descendant of thieves and vagabonds, W. R. FOSTER - an
occasionally published and rarely sober Melbourne native - has been
drawing pictures since writing actual words became too much of a
bother. He lives somewhere in theNorthern Territory, the precise
location a mystery, especially to him. He has wandered the earth
with only his crayons for company ever since.
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