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Loss and grief are universal human experiences that cause profound suffering. Unfortunately, most people are unaware of current research on bereavement and ways to promote healthy coping. The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers and Adaptation to Tragic Loss tackles this problem head-on. By chronicling the challenges and triumphs of a remarkable group of men who were left to raise young children after their wives died, this book offers a novel perspective and inspiration to anyone facing life's inevitable hardships. The Group is inspired by an innovative program at the University of North Carolina (UNC) at Chapel Hill. As directors of the Single Fathers Due to Cancer Program, the authors lead support groups for recently widowed fathers facing the simultaneous challenges of mourning their wives' deaths and raising their grieving children. The experiences of the seven men from the original support group - Karl, Neill, Bruce, Joe, Dan, Steven, and Russell - provide the raw material for this book. These men met monthly for four years and forged a tight bond. They encouraged each other through painful setbacks and celebrated increasingly frequent successes as sole parents. They also "gave backto other fathers by helping to launch a research program on widowed parenthood and end-of-life supportive care for young parents. Their individual stories and shared experiences reveal important insights about coping with any kind of loss. As the support group matured, it became apparent that traditional approaches to bereavement were not helpful for these men. For example, the still widely accepted "five stages of grief" model, introduced by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 bestseller On Death and Dying, failed to capture the unique circumstances of widowed fatherhood. The bereavement field has made major advances over the past few decades; however, these insights about both normal and pathological grief have yet to penetrate the public's consciousness. This book integrates for the lay reader poignant narratives from the fathers in the support group with the latest advances in grief resolution, resilience, positive psychology, meaning-making, and post-traumatic growth. The Group is also rich with contemporary theory and data that one would expect from an academically-oriented book on grief and adaptation. This is a story being told for the first time that has relevance to anyone who has suffered a meaningful loss. The book will be particularly interesting to those who have recently experienced the loss of a loved one as well as professionals in the fields of grief counseling, mental health, hospice, palliative care, and oncology. Drs. Rosenstein and Yopp created the Single Fathers Due to Cancer Program at UNC five years ago to address the almost completely overlooked needs of widowed fathers. Since establishing this program, it has expanded well beyond the initial support group to include educational services for oncologists and hospital staff, an online resource for widowed fathers (www.singlefathersduetocancer.org http://www.singlefathersduetocancer.org) and a research program dedicated to families affected by advanced cancer. These efforts have led to the largest data set ever collected from widowed parents. The Single Fathers Due to Cancer Program has garnered national media attention (Jane Brody, New York Times; NBC's Today Show) and published in leading peer-reviewed academic journals. Drs. Rosenstein and Yopp speak regularly at domestic and international professional conferences on end-of-life care and bereavement.
Show moreLoss and grief are universal human experiences that cause profound suffering. Unfortunately, most people are unaware of current research on bereavement and ways to promote healthy coping. The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers and Adaptation to Tragic Loss tackles this problem head-on. By chronicling the challenges and triumphs of a remarkable group of men who were left to raise young children after their wives died, this book offers a novel perspective and inspiration to anyone facing life's inevitable hardships. The Group is inspired by an innovative program at the University of North Carolina (UNC) at Chapel Hill. As directors of the Single Fathers Due to Cancer Program, the authors lead support groups for recently widowed fathers facing the simultaneous challenges of mourning their wives' deaths and raising their grieving children. The experiences of the seven men from the original support group - Karl, Neill, Bruce, Joe, Dan, Steven, and Russell - provide the raw material for this book. These men met monthly for four years and forged a tight bond. They encouraged each other through painful setbacks and celebrated increasingly frequent successes as sole parents. They also "gave backto other fathers by helping to launch a research program on widowed parenthood and end-of-life supportive care for young parents. Their individual stories and shared experiences reveal important insights about coping with any kind of loss. As the support group matured, it became apparent that traditional approaches to bereavement were not helpful for these men. For example, the still widely accepted "five stages of grief" model, introduced by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 bestseller On Death and Dying, failed to capture the unique circumstances of widowed fatherhood. The bereavement field has made major advances over the past few decades; however, these insights about both normal and pathological grief have yet to penetrate the public's consciousness. This book integrates for the lay reader poignant narratives from the fathers in the support group with the latest advances in grief resolution, resilience, positive psychology, meaning-making, and post-traumatic growth. The Group is also rich with contemporary theory and data that one would expect from an academically-oriented book on grief and adaptation. This is a story being told for the first time that has relevance to anyone who has suffered a meaningful loss. The book will be particularly interesting to those who have recently experienced the loss of a loved one as well as professionals in the fields of grief counseling, mental health, hospice, palliative care, and oncology. Drs. Rosenstein and Yopp created the Single Fathers Due to Cancer Program at UNC five years ago to address the almost completely overlooked needs of widowed fathers. Since establishing this program, it has expanded well beyond the initial support group to include educational services for oncologists and hospital staff, an online resource for widowed fathers (www.singlefathersduetocancer.org http://www.singlefathersduetocancer.org) and a research program dedicated to families affected by advanced cancer. These efforts have led to the largest data set ever collected from widowed parents. The Single Fathers Due to Cancer Program has garnered national media attention (Jane Brody, New York Times; NBC's Today Show) and published in leading peer-reviewed academic journals. Drs. Rosenstein and Yopp speak regularly at domestic and international professional conferences on end-of-life care and bereavement.
Show more"The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life"
Table of Contents
Part I: Unimaginable Loss
Chapter 1: Neill's Dilemma
Chapter 2: The First Meeting
Chapter 3: Beyond Death and Dying
Chapter 4: Going It Alone
Chapter 5: The Wrong Parent Died
Chapter 6: "Of Course I'm Depressed, but Do I Have Depression?"
Chapter 7: Band of Brothers
Part II: Adaptation
Chapter 8: The Good Enough Father
Chapter 9: A Child's Grief
Chapter 10: The Ring Thing
Chapter 11: Last in Line
Chapter 12: Dating 2.0
Part III: Reimagined Lives
Chapter 13: Future Trajectories
Chapter 14: The Meaning of Life
Chapter 15: Posttraumatic Growth
Chapter 16: An Unexpected Partnership
Chapter 17: Hard-Earned Wisdom
Chapter 18: Winding Down
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Bibliography
Index
Donald L. Rosenstein, MD, is Professor of Psychiatry and Medicine
at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill where he is
Director of the UNC Comprehensive Cancer Support Program and
Vice-Chair of the Division of Hospital Psychiatry. He is currently
the President of the American Psychosocial Oncology Society.
Justin M. Yopp, PhD, is Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill where he directs
pediatric psycho-oncology consultation services within the UNC
Comprehensive Cancer Support Program
Together, the authors are the creators of the Single Fathers Due to
Cancer Program.
"the book is an interwoven tapestry of theories, clinical debates,
client experiences and group development, and offers an integrative
presentation of effective ways for supporting grieving men. It will
be of great value to mental health professionals and all those who
want to learn more about supporting grieving men." -- Anao Zhang,
Journal of Sociology & Social Welfare
"Yopp and his co-author have written an engaging and informative
account of their support group with seven widowed fathers raising
young children after their wives died of cancer. ... This book will
be valued by any griever, but especially a grieving parent who is
raising children. Clinicians will also gain insight into the ebb
and flow of the clinical process while providing a supportive
milieu for grieving persons." -- ADEC Connects
"Widowed husbands with children - a double whammy - long neglected
and dealt here with extraordinary sensitivity and much-needed
guidance, helpful for both the men who live on and those who know
and love them."
- Jane E Brody, Personal Health columnist, New York Times
"Filled with emotionally poignant, tear-inducing vignettes of real
men confronting the loss of their spouses, this book enlightens us
about how to approach grief and the grieving. This is a book of
immense wisdom and tenderness that will touch everyone and make us
more caring friends and family when we confront death and the
survivors of death."
-Ezekiel Emanuel, MD, PhD, oncologist, bioethicist, senior fellow
at the Center for American Progress
"This story of seven men who have suffered profound loss yet help
each other to deal with unavoidable issues fills an important need
for those who may find it difficult to cope yet difficult to seek
help."
-Tom Insel, MD, former director, National Institute of Mental
Health
This powerful book opens up the raw but honest thoughts and
feelings-and difficult conflicts-of a group of fathers willing to
bare their souls to each other and now to us as readers. I hope
that anyone who is struggling with such a loss will become a
"virtual group" member and gain insights from their
experiences.
-Jimmie Holland, MD, Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center
"I absolutely loved this book. Rosenstein and Yopp's ability to
expertly weave personal narratives with their professional
expertise makes this required reading for anyone who has or will
experience a loss. That is to say, every single person on the
planet."
-Matt Logelin, author of the New York Times Bestseller, Two Kisses
for Maddy
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