Demanding perfection in everything you do can create a life of stress, worry, and overload. With this essential self-help guide, you'll learn to escape the perfectionism trap and cultivate unconditional self-acceptance in an imperfect world. Are you a perfectionist? Do you wear this title like a badge of honor, even though it creates needless stress in your life? Ironically, the stress you create by demanding perfection from yourself and others can actually make it harder to achieve your goals in the long run. It can also alienate you from friends, family, and coworkers. So, how can you escape the perfectionism trap and start living a life of self-compassion? In this informative and practical resource, author Elliot Cohen reveals the eleven types of perfectionism, and gives you the tools and skills you need to move past this distressing mind set before it leads to chronic stress, anxiety, anger, or even depression. Using strategies grounded in evidence-based rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), you'll discover how your perfectionism is actually a result of irrational beliefs, learn to challenge these beliefs, and replace negative thoughts with compassionate ones. Being a perfectionist can affect virtually every decision you make, and every action you take--leading to a life of perpetual stress. This book can help you put a stop to the absolutist thinking behind your perfectionism and take steps toward a calmer, more balanced way of being.
Demanding perfection in everything you do can create a life of stress, worry, and overload. With this essential self-help guide, you'll learn to escape the perfectionism trap and cultivate unconditional self-acceptance in an imperfect world. Are you a perfectionist? Do you wear this title like a badge of honor, even though it creates needless stress in your life? Ironically, the stress you create by demanding perfection from yourself and others can actually make it harder to achieve your goals in the long run. It can also alienate you from friends, family, and coworkers. So, how can you escape the perfectionism trap and start living a life of self-compassion? In this informative and practical resource, author Elliot Cohen reveals the eleven types of perfectionism, and gives you the tools and skills you need to move past this distressing mind set before it leads to chronic stress, anxiety, anger, or even depression. Using strategies grounded in evidence-based rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), you'll discover how your perfectionism is actually a result of irrational beliefs, learn to challenge these beliefs, and replace negative thoughts with compassionate ones. Being a perfectionist can affect virtually every decision you make, and every action you take--leading to a life of perpetual stress. This book can help you put a stop to the absolutist thinking behind your perfectionism and take steps toward a calmer, more balanced way of being.
Elliot D. Cohen, PhD, is professor and chair of the department of humanities at Indian River State College, adjunct professor of clinical ethics at the Florida State University College of Medicine, and director of the Logic-Based Therapy & Consultation Institute. Author of numerous books and articles, he is a principal founder of philosophical counseling in the United States, and inventor of logic-based therapy. He writes a blog for Psychology Today, and has been quoted in major media venues, including New York Times Magazine.
Foreword writer William J. Knaus EdD, is a licensed
psychologist with more than forty years of clinical experience
working with people suffering from anger, anxiety, depression, and
procrastination. He is author and coauthor of several books,
including The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression and The
Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety.
"'Nobody's perfect, Dad, ' my then-eight-year-old daughter reminded
me decades ago. Alas, many of us make 'perfect' the standard for
our own behavior, when 'excellent, ' 'fine, ' or even 'good' would
carry the day. We're human. Everyone makes mistakes. Making Peace
with Imperfection clearly and systematically addresses the
destructive beliefs and behavior patterns that cause perfectionism,
offering a six-step procedure for dealing with each of the ten
types of perfectionism, integrating philosophical insights with
empirically validated interventions from rational emotive behavior
therapy, and helping readers devise a personalized approach. This
book belongs in the personal growth toolbox of everyone for whom
perfect is the enemy of good."
--Robert E. Alberti, PhD, retired psychologist, professor, author,
editor, publisher, and coauthor of Your Perfect Right--Robert E.
Alberti, PhD
"A remarkable book, full of helpful techniques for combating the
core schema that produce most of the self-inflicted emotional
disturbances: perfectionist demands placed on oneself, others, and
the world. Especially helpful is the breaking down of perfectionism
into the categories of absolutistic needs for achievement,
approval, control, and certainty; and how they inevitably produce
most emotional disturbances and dysfunctional behavior. The book
provides exceptionally helpful rational countermessages for helping
people get unstuck from their low self-esteem, depression, anger,
anxiety, and low frustration tolerance, as well as techniques to
help them better deal with the dysfunctional behaviors that
accompany them. Albert Ellis would consider this book as close to
perfect as possible in implementing his theory and practice."
--Janet Wolfe, PhD, former director of the Albert Ellis
Institute--Janet Wolfe, PhD
"An excellent, exhaustive analysis of perfectionism from the
perspective of Albert Ellis's rational emotive behavior therapy
(REBT). Clearly, interestingly, and incisively written, it takes
the reader through a guided tour of the various types of
perfectionism, the many circumstances under which they occur, their
pernicious consequences, and effective strategies for combating
them. I highly recommend this book for anyone whose life is
diminished by a perfectionistic outlook. You may be surprised by
the depth and comprehensiveness of its presence in your own daily
functioning."
--Michael R. Edelstein, PhD, clinical psychologist, former training
supervisor and fellow of the Albert Ellis Institute, and author of
Three Minute Therapy--Michael R. Edelstein, PhD
"Elliot Cohen continues to prove to be the heir to Albert Ellis. In
this accessible and instructive new book, Cohen provides hope to
those struggling with perfectionism. In extending his logic-based
therapeutic approach to combating various forms of obsessionality
and self-defeating thoughts and attitudes, he provides a practical
six-step method to overcome perfectionistic tendencies and embrace
the courage to be imperfect. A classic self-help guidebook."
--Jon Mills, PsyD, PhD, ABPP, professor in the department of
psychology and psychoanalysis at the Adler Graduate Professional
School in Toronto, ON, Canada; and author of Inventing God--Jon
Mills, PsyD, PhD, ABPP
"In this highly readable, down-to-earth, and practical self-help
book, Elliot Cohen skillfully guides the reader through the process
of ridding the emotional, behavioral, and interpersonal ravages of
perfectionism. Not a one-step-fits-all approach, this book lays out
ten discreet varieties of perfectionism for an individual to
self-diagnose, and shows how to use a straightforward, six-step
method to bring both relief and peace of mind. As a practicing
rational emotive behavior therapist, I will make sure to keep
copies available for all my patients."
--Russell Grieger, PhD, clinical psychologist in private practice,
organizational consultant, and adjunct professor at the University
of Virginia; author of The Couples Therapy Companion, Developing
Unrelenting Drive, Dedication, and Determination, and the
forthcoming The Serious Business of Being Happy--Russell Grieger,
PhD
"Most books on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) are written by
psychologists; this one is written by a philosopher with a fine
grasp of CBT and psychological issues. Standing on the shoulders of
philosophical giants, Cohen takes a compassionate view of the human
condition and our tendency to ask too much from ourselves and
others. He engages us in the wisdom of history's finest thinkers
and greatest achievers, inviting us to choose the paths that lead
from our personal perfectionism to greater freedom and enjoyment of
an imperfect but worthwhile life."
--Irwin F. Altrows, PhD, psychologist in private practice, and
adjunct assistant professor in the department of psychology and
psychiatry at Queen's University in Kingston, ON, Canada--Irwin F.
Altrows, PhD
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